Nightmare start to the campaign. Woke up this morning to find wife had forgotten to wash my favourite Adidas polo shirt, the one with the club crest and my name on it. What an amateur blunder! Huge argument ensues, completely messing with my psychological preparation for the first game of the season. I can’t believe she just walked past it on the bedroom floor and didn’t think to put it in the laundry. She makes matters worse by walking off when I try to explain that this is a straight red offence, even says something under her breath about "all those shirts look the same to me!"
When she returns, I have three dresses laid out on the bed.
"What's this about?" she asks, as if she didn't know.
"Do all these dresses look the same to you?" I hold two of them up as I pose the question.
"No, of course not," she replies.
"Point proven!" I declare, marching off downstairs to iron the last wrinkle out of my second-choice Adidas polo, hoping this is only my first victory of the day.
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