Six players at practice tonight! I’m so stunned I allow the kids who are there to just kick a ball around and have fun for half an hour while I send furious text messages to the parents of the absentees. Not a single reply.
‘They are all on vacation coach,’ says one player, frivolously doing keepy-uppies right in my face, enjoying himself way too much for my liking.
‘Vacation - what do you mean?’ I ask.
‘We don’t have school this week,’ he continues cheerfully. ‘Lots of families are gone away.’
As I process this information, I sit down on the bench and type up an email to the parents of the missing boys. Always better to do this kind of thing while angry rather than later when passions have cooled.
Dear Parents,
I would like to thank you for your incredibly selfish decision to allow your children to miss practice this week, one of the most crucial weeks of our entire campaign. I can’t pretend to understand the motivation behind the need to go on vacation at this particular time of year. After all, these kids are nine and ten years old. They do not work. They do not need a break from the grind. However, they do need to attend practice if any of them are ever going to make it as professional soccer players or, in some cases, ever see significant playing time on my team. Furthermore (always a good word to use to convey authority), your actions this week may just have jeopardized our entire season. So please think on that while you enjoy your, ahem, much-needed vacations!!!
Yours in sport,
Coach
Once I hit the send button I feel much better. Spend the rest of the session making the remaining kids run mindless laps. When they complain, I tell them to blame their missing friends. I think that’s called sending a message.
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