Unwind tonight watching a rerun of a boring Serie A game on Fox Soccer Channel. I don’t care much for either team or their tactics or technical approach. I’m more interested in studying the behavior of the coaches on the sideline. Like all travel team coaches, I’m very conscious of how I look during games and this is an opportunity to add to my growing repertoire of impressive mannerisms. I’m not a fool, I know parents often judge us by how animated or detached or cerebral we appear at crucial stages so this kind of thing can’t be underestimated.
When the game ends, I head upstairs so I can practice my new moves in the full-length mirror in the hallway. I work on pursing my lips in frustration. Always a good look. Then I start doing the arms outstretched in disbelief pose. A classic. Perfect for when I’m exasperated with the referees and my own players. Best thing about that too is it morphs easily into the hands clapped together in front of your chest gesture. Very Italian. Very sophisticated. And with sound effects too.
‘You look ridiculous, you know that,’ says wife, who has been secretly spying on my antics.
‘Nobody asked your opinion,’ I say, trying hard to stay in character, arms remaining in the crucifix position.
'Next thing you’ll be putting on an accent,' she continues.
And as she walks away, I think to myself, that’s not a bad idea at all. Most positive contribution she's made to my coaching career in quite a while.
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