Sunday, April 24, 2011

She drives me crazy

I pull into the driveway just before 10 and honk the horn loud enough to draw stares from  neighbors. Wife comes to the door cradling a coffee and wearing a rather bemused look on her face.

‘What do you think of the new Jeep Grand Cherokee?’ I ask, proudly.

‘Where did you get this?’ she answers, sounding more than a little suspicious.

‘I’m taking it for a test drive this morning. Get in.’

‘Eh, why?’

‘I need a new car. I can’t be taken seriously as a soccer coach while driving a 2001 Toyota Corolla. All the best coaches have SUVs.’

‘Okay, firstly you can’t even pay off the cleats you bought on my credit card. How are you going to manage a monthly car payment?’

‘The dealer is going to give me a great deal because he wants his son to be on my team next year. It's a win-win.’

‘Now, you’ve officially lost your mind,’ she says shaking her head, refusing to budge from the doorway.

‘No, I haven’t,’ I protest. ‘I’m sick of explaining to you that I have to speculate to accumulate. I need to start looking like a high school coach. The car is a vital part of the image. Can’t you picture me driving to games in this?’

‘I can’t because you can’t afford it. Now be a good boy, take it back to the dealership and be back here in time for church.’

They say behind every great coach is a supportive woman. I obviously married the exception that proves the rule.


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