Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Work is the curse of the coaching class

Wife decides to hold a council of war before we leave the house this morning. She’s up in arms about the financial situation. As usual.

‘I think you are going to have to get a second job,’ she says.

‘Come again?’

‘A part-time job just to get us over the hump,’ she continues while frothing her coffee, just to add an annoying soundtrack to her whining.

‘I have a second job. I’m a coach. Remember!’ I’m almost choking on my Honey Nut Cheerios at the very suggestion.

‘Well, you aren’t paid for that. You need a paying gig.’ She does an excellent irritated schoolteacher impression for so early in the morning.

‘How many times do I have to tell you I’m working now towards a big payday down the road? I will be the high school varsity coach in a couple of years and that’s a highly-paid position.’

‘Yeah, that’s great honey,’ she replies, slipping in the type of surreptitious honey that drives me nuts. ‘For now though we need cash and you just aren’t earning enough in your main job.’

I don’t even dignify that with a reply but this doesn’t deter her.

‘Seriously honey (again with the honey!), if you devoted half as much time to work as you do to your little soccer venture, we wouldn’t be in this mess.’

That’s it. The moment she goes over the top with a two-footed tackle leaving me writhing in pain on the ground.

'For your information, I already have a business that I’ve started. I just haven’t told you about it.' A complete lie but a good response under pressure.

‘What is it then?’ she asks in the tone a mother might use when addressing her five year old son.

‘I’m designing a range of merchandise based around my travel team philosophy. T-shirts with slogans, bumper stickers, stuff like that. There’s a huge gap in the market.’

‘Merchandise?’ That’s all she can get out before she laughs so hard her coffee comes out her nose and her eyes water. She doubles over the sink guffawing.

I shake my head in disgust. I get up and march out. I’m so mad I don’t even put my dishes in the dishwasher.

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