Sunday, April 3, 2011

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

Conscious of need to repair relations with wife, I rent a movie and order some Chinese food. After all, she does put up with a lot and it’s been a tense start to the season for our marriage. She likes English movies, ‘Notting Hill’, ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’, that kind of thing. So tonight, I’ve picked the perfect film to get back in her good books. An English romantic comedy. Well, sort of. ‘The Damned United’ is the true story of an egomaniac soccer manager called Brian Clough and his time in charge of  Leeds United, the dirtiest team in 1970s England.

‘It’s "Billy Elliot" with soccer cleats and shin pads,’ I say confidently as we sit down to tuck into our sweet and sour chicken.

‘Eh, okay,’ she says, not at all sounding like she believes me.

She lasts 30 minutes. Just long enough to finish her food. Then she storms out,.

‘Your selfishness knows no bounds!’ she shouts as she departs. ‘This is nothing like "Billy Elliot".’

‘I know,' I say, 'it’s far better than that garbage!’

With her gone, I’m free to take notes during the rest of the movie. I don't ever want to be accused of being one of those coaches who thinks he already knows everything.

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