Wife's peculiar Mexican standoff

Wife made me accompany her to a wedding last night so didn’t get to watch the USA-Mexico game until this morning. Having managed to successful avoid hearing the result, I’m relieved to sit down in front of the TV and, like a lot of coaches, I take in the action with a keen eye on the tactical set-ups.

Obviously, I love the way the American defenders keep hoisting long hopeful, high balls forward even after the Mexicans have proved they aren’t troubled by this. No point changing your approach in mid-battle and so what if Freddy Adu is available out wide in acres of space? Just because Adu seems to have the opposition in trouble every time he gets possession doesn’t mean we should keep feeding him. How many times do I tell my kids to go and win the ball for yourself?

Even when things start to go wrong for the US, I’m thrilled to see Fox Soccer Channel analyst Kyle Martino refuses to blame individuals like Jonathan Bornstein. It’s not like, eh, nearly every goal and so much other danger originated down Bornstein’s flank or anything. Midway through the second half, I make a mental note to send email to Sunil Gulati mentioning that Martino will be in the running for the job of my assistant when I succeed Bradley. That guy really knows his stuff. Love that he wanted to take Adu off earlier too.

Anyway, it’s finely poised at 3-2 and I’m wondering if America can find an equalizer when wife walks in.

‘Have you seen the fourth goal that the little Mexican with the hairband gets?’ she asks, brazen as anything.

‘What?’

‘The fourth goal. Guy with a hairband. He’s so cute he’d be a beautiful woman.’

‘You mean Dos Santos?’

‘Yeah, I think that's him.’

‘Well, thanks for ruining the game for me!’ I shout.

‘Oh sorry, I thought you must have already seen it on SportsCenter,’ she says, faking all sorts of remorse. I can tell by the mischievous smile on her face, she knew what she was doing. I’ve been around the game long enough to know a deliberate foul when I see it.